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August 17, 2007

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martyrboy

I propose drinks soon so we can fight about this shit some more.

e

Martyrboy,

First, sorry for the delay with posting your comment. My bad for not checking my email-- been getting a lot of spam comments lately too.

Read this article (linked below) in its entirety for some more detail about our buddy Merv; it sums up the specific controversy with him in some more detail and will make you realize that this isn’t just a privacy vrs. secrecy thing.

It’s not the “private” closeted guys that bug me. It’s the ones that actively hurt honest gays by working to make our lives more difficult while enjoying all the fruits and protections of that closet.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-ehrenstein/mervgate_b_61017.html

martyrboy

Thats not what bothers me. You ended with "you too can become fabulously rich and famous as long as you pretend to be straight." When 1., no one in our community commends the few gay fabulously rich and famous (however you define that). Elton John, regardless of my personal feelings towards him. Suze Orman. Countless others. Loud and proud, but they learned something a lot of gay men dont...it doesn't define them. 2. Is his hiding his sexuality any worse/different than those who flaunt or exploit it? 3. Why is it our business if he's gay or not? The high rollers in the entertainment industry are actually part of a very small club...they knew he was gay...we didn't. and we shouldn't have to. In his death, you choose to focus on the fact that he hid something from us, not that he can now be an example of what crafty brilliant fuckers we can be if we want to.

Considering myself an out gay men (or, more so, as people have pointed out...just an obvious one), I still choose to be aware of my actions and my surroundings. I wont hold someone's hand, say, on the orange line, for my safety and simply the comfort of others. Merv did the equivalent of this in the business world and made a fortune. God bless him.

I dont need some guy I'll never meet in some town I'll never go to to be my role model. I need someone right here who doesn't need Club Cafe or a bump to have a good night. We need to stop encouraging celebrities to come out. Its selfish. More for us to have someone to admire or validate ourselves as an 'accepted community' than for their own comfort and personal growth. Knowing they're out there is enough for me.

Wow. Living up to my nickname with this one. haha
Much love.

e

M,

My end comment was a bit of hyperbole and you know it. And yes I decided to focus on what an asshole he was in life after his death instead of lavishing false praise on someone who got plenty of false praise because he paid for it.

Merv did not do the equivalent of holding some boyfriend's hand on the orange line. He did the equivalent of having the queeny gay boy kicked off the car while he sat across from and cruised the straight guys, later sexually harassing them and paying them for sex in the bathroom. He was almost the Roy Cohen of Hollywood (though he had his moments of kindness). He was best friends with the Regans and was in an awesome position to influence that president to maybe do something sooner about AIDS in America.

There is a difference between being out and normal without "flaunting" it and being so deep in the closet that you actually hurt other people. It's that hurt I blame him for, not his personal closet. Instead he fired queeny guys— he woulda fired Elton John if he was some song writer on one of Merv’s shows for example— meanwhile he actually did flaunt the hustlers he’d hire for parties and republican fundraisers which were private. He was not afraid of getting beaten up on the orange line, he was afraid of losing the money and privilege he used to screw over other people and ruin their lives.

There is a difference between being in the closet, and forcing other people into one.
e

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